I have no choice but to respond to the stereotype of a child orphaned (by even one parent) at an early age. And I fully acknowledge that my input is only applicable to me and that the experience of others may be different. Having lost my mother at a relatively early age (14) has certainly left its mark on me for the rest of my life. There are certain things I could only ask my mother; the opportunity for asking those questions is either gone, or never existed, since I was not at a stage in my life when I would have had the question to begin with. No question, I will miss her, especially at critical junctures, for the rest of my life. I will also miss her for really simple things - e.g., how DO you make that Alfredo sauce, anyway? There is much of my life history that I would have wanted to share with her and a fair amount that I wouldn’t, and in both cases, I regret the lost opportunity for sharing and nagging/argument!

On the other hand, loss like this has had a bit of a strengthening effect for me. A stubbornness all of my own (and perhaps a bit hereditary - my last name IS O’Leary, after all) has made me determined to rise above what I consider a not-so-extraordinary setback. The ability to lean more heavily on potentially sympathetic family members (although my mom had a bit of a stubborn, self-sufficiency streak of her own) was not really available to me, and I learned by default to rely on myself to get where I wanted to go. After all, “[i]t could be worse . . . it could be raining” (a la Young Frankenstein).

None of this is to say that any child is as well off or better off without one or both of their parents. There is no doubt in my mind that much of my ill-fated romantic entanglements could have been avoided with my mother on watch, which would have saved years of torment, and that my Alfredo sauce would have been perfected far earlier. My point is simply that children are generally resilient creatures and at some level, will figure out the important things on their own, if need be. Having a “whole” family is certainly beneficial - parents are always NEEDED - but success is still possible, as long as the temperament of the child allows it.

As it relates to the Kims, I have nothing but sympathy for the unlucky outcome and I agree that any one of us may have blundered similarly. Perhaps a bit of survival training is healthy for all of us?