Lightsaber duels: who wins?

Luke: Is the dark side stronger?
Yoda: No, no.

Let’s examine the evidence, shall we? Remember: anger, fear, aggression — the dark side are they.

This chart considers duels only between Force-adept antagonists (which eliminates the battle between Obi-Wan Kenobi and General Grievous).

Star Wars
Good guy Bad guy Winner
Obi-Wan Kenobi Darth Vader The bad guy
The Empire Strikes Back
Good guy Bad guy Winner
Luke Skywalker Darth Vader The bad guy
Return of the Jedi
Good guy Bad guy Winner But
Luke Skywalker Darth Vader The good guy In a fit of rage!
The Phantom Menace
Good guy Bad guy Winner But
Qui-Gon Jinn Darth Maul Stalemate Darth Maul appeared to have the upper hand before Qui-Gon was whisked away.
Qui-Gon Jinn Darth Maul The bad guy
Obi-Wan Kenobi Darth Maul The good guy In a fit of rage!
Attack of the Clones
Good guy Bad guy Winner
Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, and Yoda Count Dooku The bad guy
Revenge of the Sith
Good guy Bad guy Winner But
Mace Windu Palpatine The good guy Not for long
Hordes of Jedi “younglings” Darth Vader The bad guy
Yoda Palpatine The bad guy Yoda would have won… if he hadn’t simply left. WTF?!
Obi-Wan Kenobi Darth Vader The good guy How good is a “good guy” who leaves his mutilated, helpless one-time friend to die in agony?

The record is not too favorable for the good guys. In fact it looks like the only good guy who wins while acting like a good guy is Mace Windu! You see, this cat Mace is a baaaad mother– Shut yo mouth! But I’m talkin’ ’bout Mace! Then we can dig it.

Happily, my son Jonah bucked the odds recently when he battled Darth Maul to a draw under the guidance of his teacher, Jedi Knight Tiere Kai, when the Sith Lord paid a surprise visit to Jedi Training Academy.

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