By the flick’ring blue light
What the news channels hailed
From a TSA screening?
Whose broad thighs and bright scars
As he boarded the flight
Were so easily watched?
Even though it’s demeaning
In his bowels, some methane
Could have brought down the plane
If he’d saved that fart
Just to set it aflame
O say, isn’t it better
To submit and behave
Than be the land of the free
And the home of the brave?