Goddamn this is a lot of traffic. It’s three in the afternoon, rush hour isn’t supposed to be until four or so. Is this a holiday weekend? No… Maybe there’s an accident up ahead. Or some construction. This highway is in fine shape, why don’t they fix some streets that really need it! Fuuuuck, so slow… I wish I could see past this truck. I’ll drift left… Nothing to see that way. Ooh, a big space just opened up in front of me! Got up to 10 MPH that time, that felt good. Gonna have to tide me over for a while. Inch. Inch. Inch. I wonder which lane I should be in. Maybe if I put on the radio and the timing is just right I’ll hear about this jam on a traffic report. They can tell me what lane to avoid. Bad music… bad music… annoying ad… conservative talk show… Oh never mind, better to adapt to the situation moment by moment. Hey, I see a flashing light. Red and blue — looks like an accident. It’s in the left lane, better merge over. Excuse me… excuse me… asshole! You’re in such a fucking hurry to go three feet? Better let this other guy in in front of me. Traffic-karma points. Show this other asshole how it’s done. Almost to the accident. Man, my clutch leg is killing me. There it is — holy hell, those cars are demolished. Gotta watch out for sharp debris on the road. There’s some — oh crap, I’m gonna roll over it… arrgh. Oh shit, someone’s down. Is he still in one piece? Don’t see how he could be. Or she. Too many paramedics in the way, can’t see. Damn, that could happen to me. Confronted by my own mortality. Maybe I should be a little more cautious on the road. Whew, I’m past the accident at last. Hey, the highway is wide open. Get out of my way, you crappy Yugo — 80 MPH, here I come!!

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